I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
