"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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