Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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