Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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