I just pynch a tree in the face
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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