I wish you could order shots online.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
