im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
you had me at cake vodka
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
