How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
