The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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