This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
im six kinds of drunk right now
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
