just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
