i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
