the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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