just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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