I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
