you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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