....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
