i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
