tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
