Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
