Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
