Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
