yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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