I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
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just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
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I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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