You made me cry and you don't even care
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
