My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I wish I only lived at night.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
