I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
