idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize
