you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
COCAINE IS GR8
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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