Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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