my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
