Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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