My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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