how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
