it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
