you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
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When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
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the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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