If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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