just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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