We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
