Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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