Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
