dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
