"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
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