My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
