YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
