Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
