Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Dicks are not precious.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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