There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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