she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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