i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
