"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
