your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
