He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
