i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
