He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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