well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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