Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
