she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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