our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize