his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
