We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
