I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
so let's talk penis.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
