people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
