is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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