It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
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