she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
