"it" just moved
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Is Oprah even human
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
