My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
