I can't watch pbs sober anymore
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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