i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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