i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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