I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
