ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
